Close Encounters : Broken Heartstrings...

MADAM DADA.

Today is my Birthday. In all the years it has taken to get here....this morning I awoke to a beautiful spring day and new hope.....mainly for my work.. as an artist... and for me ....as myself. The last few months of my life have been most complex..indeed. Never thought by being connected to Facebook...that so much information could be arrayed....in the strange ways that it has......Life is tangled up most of the time....but this form of communication often leaves me reeling.




To take a chance on a stranger.....is not only mad but god dam ridiculous...to say the least.
Artist's come in all shapes and sizes....most of us have such different agenda's...all working and thinking many number of things.....some of us prefer to be private and some of us are more inclined to socialise about the work. As a teacher I tend to be an active purveyor...of all things fashion/art/design/genre's/histories and all number of playful practise's ......this can create a wonderful experience for many a student and I love to tell stories via the fabulous mother ship...that the Internet is....................HOWEVER.


Recently I was enamoured with someone who seemed friendly enough....and like able.
I discovered this person was informed in certain areas of art...of which I was interested in.
After many back and forths....via chat and messaging.....the daily getting to know of one another rose to other heights. Those intense and overwhelming similarities.....were constant and mind bogglingly attractive.....and rest assured ...deadly.


What people do in this... not so new form of communication.....is anyone's guess...I was new to it..even at my age ..I never really went in there.....never looked around at it....was not at all of the time...that modern etiquette and social networking....delivered. I stayed right away from all of it....just used it for good...so to speak....students were the main priority there.

Time and effort spent on this one person.....was all consuming and took over my affections.
For all that I felt...nothing will surpass those moments....not even a most treasured memory of standing in front of a VINCENT VAN GOGH....in Amsterdam.

It took me over.


If I was a doctor...I would get out my little brown leather doctor's bag....and use every instrument I could find to do my own surgery....to mend and put back together...my broken and beaten heartstrings.
Without them...life would not be as it once was......I'm ready to appear again as I was..trusting in my silent surgery....I feel  like I'm in recovery mode.

Closeness with the intangible is too hard.
What I know and what my experiences have taught me.....is to go with that first bout of intuitiveness.
Believe it through and through.

Its my clock....the one that belongs to me.

Inner workings of my clock. Dedication to Dorothea Tanning.